Our birth story
20 Oct 2011 2 Comments
I said I would, so here it is…
Before I share our birth story, I would like to say this: The most encouraging thought that carried me through the mental preparation and process of a natural home birth was “Women have done it before me and women will do it after me”. I hope that our story can be a source of strength, inspiration and encouragement for other women who aspire to have a natural childbirth. I also want to thank all the amazing women who have allowed me to be a part of their birthing experience or have shared their story with me. I am in awe of all women who have experienced childbirth period and now parenting…
Phase One:
June 6th 12:05am: Could this be it???? The contractions had started, Nick was on alert and we slept…
5:45am: Nick called Dr. Roe, our amazing naturopath and midwife. Contractions were five minutes apart and lasting 60 seconds. It was at this moment in time I turned to Nick and shared how glad I was that we were staying in the comfort of our own home. Nick and I got busy preparing the house for the big event. Nick made me some eggs and I was taking in the reality of labor. I was still able to hang with the doggies, vacuum the floor and talk through contractions. At this point in labor, the birthing ball was my friend.
7:00 am: Mom and sister were on their way from Seattle. Dr. Roe and her student arrived. I had taken a shower and labor had slowed down some. Contractions were still pretty manageable on my own without support. We went for a walk around the neighborhood. As labor progressed, time quickly became unimportant…it was all about being in the moment and trusting the process…
My mom and sister showed up while I was still in the first stage of labor. My little niece Hudsyn was there so I snuggled and kissed on her…the energy of having another baby there was amazing and special. Dr. Roe suggested that Nick and I take some time to ourselves in a quiet, dark room. It was then that the contractions began to pick up. I think I can safely say that this was when we shifted to active labor.
Active labor: From what I am told, this phase lasted about two hours. During this time, the birthing pool was being filled, and mom was baking cookies per my birth plan:-) I took another shower and changed positions frequently. My midwife was an amazing support, as were Nick, my mom and sister. My sister had laid out a nice spread of food on the bar to keep everyone well fed! Note: don’t eat ranch dressing and celery if you are supporting a woman in labor:-)
The best physical support for me during contractions was the double hip squeeze and no one does it like Dr. Roe! Also, having Nick by my side with firm strokes on my shoulders and legs in between contractions allwed me to relax and welcome the break (even if it was only a minute). I remember labor being a very internal and mental process for me; my eyes were closed, I used a lot of visualization and chanting (as my mom put it) and I talked to the baby. This all helped me to stay focused, peaceful and connected to the process and to my baby.
Phase two:
Transition/Time to push: This was right about the time I had asked to get into the birthing pool. Again, from what I am told, this phase lasted about an hour. The water was a welcomed change and helped me to relax in between contractions. I have heard the same from other women as well. This is where Walker was born, in the birthing pool, at 1:58pm. Walker handled labor very well and was perfect when he was born. He weighed in at 7lbs 11oz and was 21 inches long. He had a full head of hair, plump little lips and these little man hands that just melted my heart.
After his birth, we stayed in the water and just took each other in; it was as if the whole world had disappeared and it was just my son and me. It’s amazing how the memory of all that hard work is erased the minute you hold your baby in your arms (and how it comes back later;-)). This is by far the most amazing experience of my life and it just continues everyday. If anyone asks me what I am most proud of in my life, my answer would be Walker.
I learned a new word!!!
24 Sep 2011 3 Comments
As I logged into my email this morning (Yahoo) there was a headline article titled “Bad Habits That Hurt Marriages”. As Nick and I approach our second wedding anniversary and enter our third year of marriage, I thought to myself, I could probably glean a thing or two from this article. As I read the article, one habit in particular stood out to me and that is what I want to focus on here. OK, are you ready for it? I guarantee we are ALL GUILTY of this habit, whether in our marriages or other relationships…work, friends, family etc…The word (or two words actually): UNCONSCIOUS OVERCLAIMING. I will give you a second to ponder this if it is indeed a new concept to you.
OK, times up! Here is what it means, simply stated: When one overestimates what one does. HMMMM, guilty? I think so. And as the writer of this particular article said, it makes sense because we are way more aware of what we are doing than what others are doing. The other factor to this concept is the value we place on things…for example, what I may think is important and should get done, my husband may not. This may lead to me thinking that I “do more” than him. I have to admit though that I am good at reminding myself of all the things he does when I find myself getting annoyed that he didn’t do something I wanted him to do…or am I? Maybe I am just unconsciously overclaiming! This phenomenon also leads to inflated sense of your contributions and could be a main culprit to any resentment that may be building towards your partner. Another bad habit that was mentioned which I see is directly related to this one is score keeping. I am not going to delve into this as I am sure you all can see the direct relationship.
Challenge: Google this term yourself and allow it to resonate with you. Then, apply it to your relationships and see if maybe, just maybe you too are a unconscious overclaimer. Don’t be ashamed, in my opinion WE ALL ARE.
Here is an interesting paragraph I read about this term taken straight from my google search (I love copy and paste; http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2009/01/a-psychological-term-i-love-and-am-guilty-of-unconscious-overclaiming-.html):
“Unconscious overclaiming is related to the “Lake Wobegon fallacy,” which describes the fact that we all fancy ourselves above average. (It’s named for Garrison Keillor’s imaginary town of Lake Wobegon, where “all the children are above average.”) Studies show that most people think they’re above average in fairness, luck, popularity, investing ability, and many other traits. In one survey, 80% of respondents put themselves in the top 30% of all drivers.”
Are you a resident of Lake Wobegon???
Remembering Jessi Lynn
22 Sep 2011 5 Comments
I never really thought my second blog entry would be a remembrance of a dear high school friend. Jessica Lynn Phillips passed away Monday September 19th after a decade of battling addiction. I have grappled with the focus of this blog; should it be about Jessi or about addiction? Today, it will be about Jessi. We can tackle the ugliness of addiction another day. When I decided to start a blog, I thought to myself “keep it short. People don’t want to read a book here. ” I am not sure I can do that after almost 20 years of friendship nor do I want to. Not today.
Jessi and I met the first day of freshman year. I was friends with her older sister Sarah. Sarah came to pick me up for school and Jessi was in the back seat. The rest is history. We immediately connected and developed a special friendship. Over the following years we laughed, cried, partied and just hung out together. I spent many nights sleeping over at her house; even school nights. She had a true homemaker for a mom and every morning I would stay, I remember waking up to the smell of something freshly baked. As we rushed out the door, there were always brown sack lunches waiting for us at the end of the counter. Then we’d all pile in Sarah’s silver Jetta and head off to school.
Jessi had a smile and a laugh that was contagious. I know you hear that a lot about people after they have passed, but this is genuinely true. To go with that smile she had a heart of gold. She was always the first to tell you how much your friendship meant to her and was great with words. She would often give me cards, just because.
For a period of a few years, there was a unbreakable click: The JAMAS! Jessi, Alana, Maggie, Angie and Sarah! Yep, we named ourselves and we were proud. The five of us would all pile in Maggie’s Pontiac Leman (once she finally passed her drivers test!) and we would cruise the streets of Everett/Mill Creek. Sometimes with your shirts on…sometimes not;-) Remember the guy who was riding his bike staring at us and rode right into the mailboxes??? Classic! Another great memory of Jessi is yes, you know…come on girl, ride that choo choo train! Jessi LOVED that song and you could always bet she would be dancing to it late into the wee hours of the morning (after way too much bud light or whatever it was we were drinking).
One of the most special things about Jessi, for me, is the friendship she developed with my brother Steven. For years, she was loyal and dedicated to writing him while he accepted the reality of his future. She was not only there for him but for me too. She was a shoulder to cry on and a friend to laugh with.
Jessi was devastated and brokenhearted following the illness and eventual passing of her lovely mother. For me, this is when I remember the darkness of addiction creeping more into her life. It eventually had her in a straightjacket, and she struggled desperately to get out. For anyone who has personally struggled with addiction or seen someone close to them struggle, I don’t have to tell you what it does to the relationships around you, and more importantly, the relationship you have with yourself. As we remember Jessi today and forever, I will focus on remembering her spirit and her soul. I will let the manifestations of her addiction die with her mortal body and allow her soul to live free…laughing and running with her mother, watching over her beautiful daughter and undoubtedly visiting her many and dear friends and family from time to time.
Jessi Lynn, I love you and know in my heart that you are free now. Free from the pain and suffering that had dimmed your light. Let your light shine bright my dear friend.
Got milk? Breastmilk? To share or not to share, that is the question!
13 Sep 2011 4 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: breastfeeding, breastmilk, milk sharing
My friend Austin said to me the other day, “You should start a blog”. I thanked him for the idea and quickly dismissed it. Why? Because I thought to myself…I am not profound enough for a blog. Who would want to read my blog anyway and what in the world would I blog about. The comment was suggested during a conversation we were having about natural childbirth, raising children, parenting styles and how our own upbringing has shaped us.
Then I realized, I don’t have to be a profound thinker to blog, I just have to be a critical thinker. So, with that said, here I am writing my first blog entry. I am very excited to blog on this topic; so excited my fingers are racing to keep up with my thoughts…so let me get started while my son Walker (3 months old) is somewhat content playing under his playmat.
As a new mom I get asked the question “Are you breastfeeding?” all the time. My answer: YES! Speaking of which, Walker has just informed me the playmat is no longer acceptable and he would like to nurse…BRB.
OK, where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to start talking about breastfeeding. Well, not exactly…more so about sharing or donating your breastmilk to other women to feed to their babies. Or, better yet, selling it to men to use in their protein shake! I know, it raised my eye brows at first, but more so, it peaked my interest.
When something that I don’t know a lot about peaks my interest, the first thing I have learned to do is…GOOGLE IT! Seriously though, I start my research. Before I share what I found in my research, let me back up and share briefly how I became aware of this topic. I first heard of the idea of sharing breast milk on the local news. It was featuring a story about a local woman who had created a Facebook page for donating and sharing breastmilk. I was pregnant at the time and thought to myself, honestly, that sounds a little risky. I didn’t really give it a second thought until my son was born and I realized I am a milk making machine and it was suggested to me that I should donate my milk to a milk bank. Well, I didn’t go that far, because I found a very worthy family who could use my milk right in my own backyard…my sister and my niece. Plus, donating something as precious as breastmilk for it to be turned around and sold didn’t feel right either. If I am going to donate it, I would like the recipient to receive it for free (I do however appreciate that milk bank’s exist).
As my research unfolded on this topic, this is what I found out…YES, sharing breastmilk has it’s risks IF…you don’t know or trust your donor. In a nutshell, the “safest” way to get breast milk if you aren’t fortunate enough to have someone you know and trust to donate is to go through a milk bank! Yes, I said it, a milk bank; kinda like a blood bank. You know, where you donate blood and they give it someone else. They, the milk bank, have you go through a full blood screen and lifestyle screen before they even take your milk. Then, they pasteurize it (http://www.hmbana.org/processing) and viola; it gets shipped right to your front door (much more simple than a blood transfusion). Now, if you go through other less formal routes, such as Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Local-Breast-Milk/366527715280) or other classified websites (http://www.onlythebreast.com/) that specialize in human breast milk buying/selling, it is up to US to do our due diligence and do our own blood/lifestyle screen to keep everyone safe.
What is most important that I learned is that human breastmilk is superior to any formula on the market…period, end of story! (http://www.hmbana.org/history) Whether it is your own milk you are feeding your baby or someone else’s, hands down it is the best thing you can do for your baby.
I am thankful that I not only produce enough milk for my son, but that I can share it with my sister and my beautiful, healthy niece.
To start your own journey in making an informed decision check out these sites all in support of breastmilk donating and sharing:
http://www.hmbana.org/
Quintessence Foundation, promoting education on breastfeeding & use of donor milk
United Kingdom Association for Milk Banking
United States Breastfeeding Committee
International Milk Banking Initiative (IMBI)
AAP, Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk Policy Statement
International Lactation Consultant Association
ILCA’s 2010 annual meeting brochure and info can be found here
National Breastfeeding Awareness Initiative
Also, consider this…
1. We donate our blood and give it to other people in need
2. We donate body parts to save another person’s life
3. We drink milk from other animals such as cows and goats (which a lot of us can’t due to the inability to break down the lactaid enzymes; hmmm, that sounds normal)
4. We eat eggs from a CHICKEN.
5. Now, why is drinking someone elses breast milk weird? I’d love to hear the other side…
***Disclaimer: The intent of this blog is not to provide unbiased information. I am willing and proud to say that it is full of MY INFORMED OPINION. I challenge you to do the same!
